Two toys can be cast from the same batch of silicone and feel like different materials. The small one bends in your hand and the large one barely gives. Nothing about the rubber changed. What changed is the amount of it. This is the reason our product pages describe firmness in words and comparisons instead of a hardness number, and this article explains both the physics and the scale.
Why a hardness number does not tell you the feel
Hardness scales for soft materials work by pressing a small pin into a flat sample and reading how far it sinks. That measures the material. It does not measure the object. A toy is not a flat sample; it is a shape with a thickness, and the thickness is doing most of the work when you squeeze it.
Take a shaft 3.5 cm (1.4 in) across and one 7 cm (2.75 in) across, same silicone. Squeeze both. The thin one deforms easily, because there is little material behind the surface to push back. The thick one pushes back with the whole column, and reads as firm. Inside the body the effect is the same: the small size of a piece feels forgiving at its widest point, and the XL of the same piece, same formula, feels solid. Our range spans that whole spread within single products. Thick Conqueror goes from 3.4 cm across in XS to 11.3 cm in XL. Nobody would describe those two as the same firmness, and a single number on the product page would say they were.
Wall thickness adds a second variable for hollow pieces. A sleeve is a thin shell; it feels soft no matter what it is made of, because it collapses before the material's own resistance comes into play. A suction cup base is a thin flare of the same silicone, which is why it can be floppy on a piece whose shaft is stiff.
Shape adds a third. A shaft with a firm core and a soft outer layer reads differently again, which is its own article.
Why we do not print the number anyway
Two reasons, and the second is the honest one.
First, as above: even an accurate number would mislead across sizes.
Second, we do not have accurate numbers. What our supplier gives us is an internal grade code for each formula, which is not a reading on any standard hardness scale. Earlier versions of our pages translated those codes into hardness figures, inconsistently, and some of that is still floating around the internet with our name on it. We took the figures down. If we measure the material properly in future, the readings will go on the materials page with the method next to them. Until then, a number we cannot stand behind is worse than no number.
The scale we use instead
Four steps, described by things you have squeezed in a supermarket.
Soft: gives under light pressure and springs back. A ripe avocado. A wet sponge. Your earlobe.
Standard: springy, with clear resistance. A tomato. A pencil eraser. The tip of your nose.
Firm: takes real pressure to dent. An aubergine. A dry bar of soap. Your chin.
Very firm: barely deforms at all. A cucumber. A candle. The heel of your hand.
The step is assigned per size, not per product, because of the physics above. We are still hand-checking each size against the scale before the label goes onto the product page, so where you do not see a firmness line on a page yet, it means we have not finished checking, and the product description will say which end of the range the piece sits at. The firmness page has the full table.
What softness is for, and what firmness is for
Softer pieces bend with the body. They are the ones for depth, where the shaft has to follow a turn, and for very large widths, where a firm piece at the same size would be too much to take. They are also the ones for a realistic feel: Vivid sits at the soft end deliberately, because tissue that deforms under your muscles is what makes it read as flesh. The cost is control. A very soft piece is hard to aim and a knot on a very soft piece can fold instead of popping.
Firmer pieces hold their shape under load. They are the ones for pressure in a specific spot, which is what prostate and G-spot play needs; for a knot or a step that should pop cleanly rather than squash through; and for a piece you ride, where a soft shaft would buckle. The cost is forgiveness: a firm wide head at the muscle is a wall until you relax, and there is no give to help you.
The middle is where most people live and where we would point a first buyer.
How to choose across a size range
Decide on the sensation first, then the size, then read where that size lands on the scale. If you want a large piece and a soft feel, look for a product that is soft in its small sizes, because it will only get firmer as it gets wider. If you want a small piece with a firm feel for targeted pressure, look for a product that is already firm in its small sizes; a soft formula in XS is going to be very soft.
A tangent. In the forums, "too soft" is a far more common complaint than "too hard," and it is nearly always about a toy that is both soft and long: it will not go where it is pointed. "Too hard" complaints are nearly always about a toy that is firm and wide. Neither is a defect. Both are people who picked the right material and the wrong size for the firmness they wanted.
Questions we get
What is the hardness of your silicone?
We do not publish a hardness figure, because we do not have a measured one and because it would not tell you the feel across sizes anyway. Each size gets a step on the four-step scale as it is checked.
Is soft silicone weaker?
No. The formula is softer; the material is the same. Soft pieces tear at the same point firm ones do, which is a cut or a bite, not use.
Does a toy get softer with use?
Platinum silicone does not. It gets softer if silicone lube has soaked into it, which is damage, covered in the care guide.
Can I warm a toy to make it softer?
Warm water for five to ten minutes makes it feel warmer and a little more pliable. It does not change the firmness step. Do not use a microwave.
